Looking in from outside

It is amazing how differently things seem once you move outside a sphere of influence, or you exit the bubble or the bubble is burst for you by some outside events.

Last weekend Roger and I attended a 140th anniversary of Presbyterianism in a town near us, lets call it Anytown The first church in the town was built on a promontory above the river which bisects the town.

Where the first church was built later became known as East Anytown as the main township developed on the south west side of the river. Here in the 1920s, a hall and then later, in the 1950s, a substantial brick church were built. (At the time the minister staunchly refused to have the hall and church linked architecturally and so in the late 20th century it cost over a $180,000 to achieve a connection between the two!)

St Andrew’s, as this ‘new’ church was called, birthed a daughter church in West Anytown when schools were being built there. East Anytown Church then closed in 1991, leaving a fairly broad minded central church and a more evangelical daughter church. Now St Andrew’s has dwindled to an older congregation singing hymns to an organ and her daughter church is the one with the contemporary drum set. Though St Andrew’s could not be described as evangelical, it is nevertheless traditional and conservative in that wider sense of conventionality of faith.

The weekend was extremely convivial and well organised. I found the Sunday church service, however, a painful experience. Analysing it later, I realised that every hymn and other components such as the Apostles’ Creed and the traditional Lord’s Prayer (complete with ‘trespasses’) were all focused upwards, in a ‘heavenly’ direction – what I would call ‘vertical liturgy’. We here on earth, or Jesus’ time on earth, or God’s interactions with the earth and humankind were hardly ever mentioned, apart from the prayers of adoration and confession. I noticed the usual Prayers for Others did not appear at all, perhaps another symptom of this heavenly preoccupation with glory and praise.

I thought about the superb organizing of the weekend, and wondered how such a pragmatic, practically minded group of people coped with such heavenly-minded, ungrounded wording, especially those words of the hymns. Did they check out of life as we know it, welcoming an escape from the worries and cares of life lived during a pandemic, or did they let it wash over them and simply enjoy the ambience of being in a familiar place again? I find it hard to believe that the words actually connected in a meaningful way with their lives.

I am not one for dumbing down theology but I am one for connecting it, contextualising it. A friend and I were discussing the current use of the East Anytown Church. It has been sold to the local Council who are developing it as an artist’s studio and residence for visiting artists. We were discussing how it was an example of a resurrection; that before you can have a resurrection, you need to have a death. The congregation left at East Anytown moved out in 1991. The building was sold. Now it has a post resurrection body. Just as in the original Story, it is a very a different body from the body which had existed pre-resurrection.

Only where there are graves are there resurrections.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

I think Neitzsche had it right. I often wonder when I see churches hanging on for grim death, fighting closure and redevelopment, that considering the Christian faith has resurrection at the very core of its Story, the various denominations are curiously (though perhaps understandably) reluctant to allow death. They seem like cancer patients ‘fighting’ the illness in a sometimes vain attempt to stay alive no matter the cost. (and using up a lot of money that could be used for redevelopment in the process.)

Like I said at the beginning of this post, when you remain in the bubble you continue thinking along the same old bubble lines. You cannot imagine the other world which can lie beyond. It reminds me of the story of tadpoles seeing their fellow tadpoles leave the pond as their legs developed, but unable to imagine what they were leaping into. Its like a caterpillar having no idea what it might be like to be a butterfly.

I was glad as I sat through that Sunday service that I had found going to church a difficult choice on retirement and so had chosen an online option. It has shaken me out of familiar patterns. I am realising however, that the new space I and some others inhabit is lonely, sparsely populated and maybe always will be. Part of the pain of that Sunday experience was the feeling of being alone and an outsider in a place where formerly I had been ‘in’.

As yet too, this new space lacks words and stories, meanings and metaphors which uniquely describe this new world. The words I’ve already written to familiar hymn tunes get some of the way, but I want to spend some time on new formats and different rituals. Watch this space. It may take some time.

I heard today that the latest Special Assembly of the PCANZ did not discuss whether or not to approve the government’s recent ban on conversion therapy (smart idea) but did decide to work on the Church’s inclusivity divisions. This sounds promising, though as one person has already suggested has the danger of being long winded. This is what the Church finally did with women’s ordination – they studied the issue in a thorough way. I’m hoping We’re All Equally Human might help in this discussion. (The books have arrived on my doorstep and its the last day today to get the pre-order pricing, by the way).

Let’s, in the meantime, keep on talking, even with those with whom we disagree, hopefully in the process dispelling inaccuracies and myths in people’s (mis)understandings.

Just as an antidote to the ‘vertical’ hymns I heard at the weekend, here’s a verse or two from Progressing the Journey (sung to the tune Jerusalem):

1. And did those feet in former times,
   walk upon scree and tussock brown?
   And did the man, Jesus the Christ,
   cross mountains high and rolling downs?
   And did he know the morning mist?
   And did he know the harbour’s sheen?
   And did he love the cityscape,
   its terraced streets, the urban scene?
2. And does he still walk this our land,
   talking and laughing with us yet?
   And does he know that stab of need,
   when neighbours snub, and worse, neglect?
   And is he there when wine is poured?
   And is he there when bread’s prepared?
   And does he smile when good is done?
   And does he weep when conflict’s flared?

Go well into the Post-Easter part of this year.

I will try to remember I am not alone.

If you remember you are not alone, we can be befriended together even at this internet devised distance.

Grace and peace and groundedness be with us all

Susan

Order from jones.rs@xtra.co.nz

$20 plus P & P

$25 plus P & P

$25 plus P & P

Going from stage to stage

Photo by Tobi on Pexels.com

Reactions to Wherever you are.. are bringing insights into people’s journeys. One thing I’ve noticed, (which I could have worked out before), is that those who have stopped church involvement are finding the book affirming and helpful. Others maybe not so much.

It’s made me think about what makes the difference for a person between one stage of the journey and the next. While Fowler and others might present the stages as discrete from each other, they do, of course, blur into each other at the edges. I’ve also experienced a kind of cyclical movement for myself where I can revisit former stages depending on the topic. For example, my theological ideas might become quite radical, but I can be fundamentalist about church customs and traditions. It may be that I cling on to those traditions exactly because I feel less secure in other areas of my spirituality. Sometimes in the darkness you need to hang on to what comfort you can find!

Photo by Mitja Juraja on Pexels.com

This reminds me a little of flying in to Wellington airport (bear with me, all will become clear). There is often turbulence as we approach the land from the sea and the plane is wobbling around up and down and sideways. I comfort myself in those moments that the pilots can choose an average of all those positions and are checking all the time that we are maintaining the appropriate height for each stage of our approach.

It’s kind of like that with faith stages. We may seem to be wobbling around, but somewhere inside, something has clicked which drew us more into the questioning stage, than remaining in the conventional stage – or more into disenchantment than remaining wholly enchanted. (Get the book if you don’t understand these references, see below).

It can be that a shocking event moves us decisively, with no mistake, into the next stage of faith. More often, I suspect, we move more slowly. A series of events, comments, books, people, combine to move us out of conventional faith, out of the enchantment we had felt and into the next phase. What I am working out is that until that has happened, we remain mostly enchanted or mostly conventional.

There is nothing wrong with that, as we all move or don’t move at our own pace and in our own idiosyncratic fashion. There are no prizes for speed in this ‘sport’, there are no technical skill points or artistic impression points (yes I’ve been watching Winter Olympics figure skating and snowboarding). If you can’t do a quadruple jump, you haven’t failed!

15 year old Russian skater does first quad jumps in women’s Olympic figure skating.

So why am I teasing this idea out? It has occurred to me, through recent emails and conversations, that it’s important on our own journeys to find like-minded people to walk with. So, whatever the one event or the conclusion from several events which has moved you into the next stage, seek out others who have experienced that same shift in consciousness. They will know what you are talking about, even if your journey is qualitatively different from theirs. They will ‘get it’. It will help both your journeys to talk with each other. (If there is no one you can find in your neighbourhood, drop me an email and we can chat.)

On the other hand, that very dear friend of yours, with whom you have always talked a lot and shared many deep experiences? They might not have made the same shift as you have. You will not of course, now cut them dead, but you may find that it is best to confide a little less of your new discoveries to them. Those conversations may be saved for the people who have made the shift. Your long term friend? Still good fun, still a stimulating companion, but let the ground of the conversation move to other topics.

You will know what I mean when I say that to move ahead, you sometimes need to employ a sharp knife’s edge to ideas you formerly held dear. The phrase ‘cutting edge’ is not an accident. To get somewhere new we need to slice through some long held knots and ties. Continuing to talk a lot with those long term friends still in the same old place, can dull your faith-knife’s cutting edge. Someone who has not made the same shifts as you will not understand this ruthless-seeming approach to cutting old ties. It’s not ruthless but it is conscious. It seems ruthless to people still unaware of how ideas and assumptions can twine about us like the tendrils on a sweet pea plant, holding us. That holding firm seems like a good idea at first as we struggle to get a foothold in the faith, but it can also hold us back as time goes by.

Even delicate seeming tendrils can hold us back and fence us in

I know that more conventional believers think that a questioning, seeking person might be in danger of losing their faith. But it takes more trust, I believe, to step out on a journey where you do not know the final destination. Faithfulness is required on the seeking journey, but it is a faithful determination to keep putting one step in front of the other, trusting our Companion and our companions. What an adventure!

In other news…. It was a thrill yesterday to be shown an order of service which had used an affirmation which is in Wherever you are, You are on the Journey. That minister (whom I don’t know personally) had obviously ‘made the shift’ and recognized words they and their congregation needed. It was particularly timely as Progressing the Journey is in the final edits stage. It has not only new words to familiar tunes like the one I posted last week, but also liturgical fragments for different times of the church year, including affirmations. I remember the thrill of discovery I felt finding Dorothy McRae McMahon’s books of liturgy. it would be wonderful if Progressing the Journey provided the same sense of discovery for others. That’s a dream to be made real, I hope. Here’s a taster:

Affirmation and Recognition of Faith Found in Epiphany
Epiphany Year C
We recognise those moments of epiphany
– we’ve all had them –
when we have suddenly realised
everything has changed.

When we have seen deep down inside us
and found there what we did not expect.
Instead of the dark, greedy, grasping selfishness
we have been warned of all our lives,
we have discovered within, instead, light.
Light which children’s drawings sketch around angels
light which softly glows with compassion and welcome,
beckoning us to own our inner rich resource
which is so like God
as to be no different from that we call divine.

We recognise, in those moments of discovery,
in those glimpses of the truth,
we can never be the same again,
even if the waters are deep and dark
we will be led through them
by a loving guide
who is, sometimes, us.

And thankfulness rises deep within.

Go well everyone, befriend intentionally and live courageously,

Susan

Wherever you are, You are on the Journey still available from me at jones.rs@xtra.co.nz.  $20 per book and $5.60 for P & P up to 3 copies.  I’ll send the bank account number and you send me your street address. Easy-peasy! Loving the emails I’m getting about how people have found it a book which gets them thinking about their own journeys. Let me know how you’re finding it!

Life lessons while upholstering

As well as writing books, I upholster these days. It’s a creative thing to do, though the old armchairs that have been in the family for a time need a lot of work.

First there were two armchairs like this one above. Bought second hand in 1960, they were probably made in the 1940s. The tutor thought probably in Broad Small’s, Invercargill. We never knew them like this. When Mum bought them they had pretty floral loose covers. Now, however, after my ministrations, they look like this (almost finished)

But before they could look like that, they had to be taken right back down to their bare bones. You may not even recognise the shape below as the same chair.

That all seemed like a very big job. It was. They have taken months, (although I haven’t been working on them everyday). Once I got to this bare bones stage, the basic framework was good, just needing some tidying up and a few chips gluing back in.

But the next project was the one which started me thinking about life lessons. At least we knew, because you could see it clearly, that the first two chairs were on their beam ends. The third chair looked like it was in better shape from the outside. A little worn and frayed maybe, but it was still comfortable and was a good place for a quiet nap in the afternoon.

Nice, isn’t it! A graceful shape, Looks intact, and as if, when I took the fabric off and the top layer of dacron which can be seen here, all that was needed was probably a layer or two of new dacron adding and then new fabric. So at the workshop this last weekend I took the covering off the bottom of the chair. I found this:

First of all it was immediately obvious the webbing and some of the springs beneath it (a third of them in fact) weren’t in good condition.

Look at the right hand rail, however, and observe the extra two rails added to keep it intact. The original outside rail and two others elsewhere were heavily borer-eaten. As I worked at taking off the current upholstery I said jokingly, “The upholstery is all that’s keeping this chair together.” My words were prophetic. That became more and more true as the stripping process continued.

This is how the chair came home after a day and a half’s work. Home to Roger for orthopaedic surgery of major proportions You can’t see the borer here, the holes in the curved front of the arm are actually staple and tack holes. The curved piece of ply across the front, however, is there to stop the front rail from disintegrating completely.

My life lesson is NOT that my family should move their furniture on more frequently (though that’s not a bad idea). It is about the inner and outer condition of our spiritual life journey.

Church/The Journey can look OK from the outside. Attractively presented, comfortable, a place where we can be relaxed enough to nap if we need to. But, that comfort is undergirded by structures and principles which have been degrading over time, been eaten away by changes in thinking. Fresh material is needed. Surgical techniques are necessary to pare away the no-longer-useful ideas and make room for something which achieves the same structural purpose, but more reliably in this current world.

We will still have a chair in the end. But it will be a chair we can trust because we know it is based on strong ideas, newly thought through. The old chair has been critiqued, evaluated and renovated. Not thrown out (though it was touch and go at the weekend whether we might after all abandon the project). No, not thrown out, but revitalised.

The scary thing about our chair is that Roger will virtually have to take it apart to put it back together again just like the salvage restorers do on TV. That will take Roger time and patience and courage, just like we need those qualities when we allow our previous ideas to be dismantled, so we are then ready for fresh structures to take their place.

Some of the structures in our chair which need changing are very very basic to its essential integrity. In our spiritual journey, even foundational ideas, like the atonement theory, like the birth of Jesus, like what is a resurrection, all need checking for contemporary usefulness. We need to work out in what form they need to be, to ensure they are still useful and helpful in a different time and place from when the chair was made or the faith story first created.

My original hope was that I could just change the top layers of padding and put on new fabric. Some times we hope that this dis-ease we feel, this ennui with conventional faith can be easily refreshed. Perhaps some new additions, maybe a cafe church or contemporary music. But the damage lies deeper within. We have to go there to find it. We have to deal with it intentionally and thoroughly. Long, hard, difficult work. But, as my first two chairs showed me, worth it in the end.

Go well, friends as you renovate your spiritual journey.

Susan

Thought: Why not follow this blog by email and you will be alerted every time I do a post? (about once a week)

Remember for sale now till Thursday 16 December at only $18, Wherever You are, You are on the Journey. After Thursday, it will be at the RRP of $20.

On sale now

Someone who’s read the book has said:

“I think readers are very lucky that you have done all the work of thinking through this and they get the benefit for just $18!!! A bargain! Something to go back and reread and  think on – the gift that keeps giving!”

Email Susan on jones.rs@xtra.co.nz to get the bank account number and the final cost with postage and to give her your address.

See posts on this blog through November 2021 for more details about the Coffeeshop Conversations trilogy of which Wherever you are is the first book, and Lyrics and Liturgy. Books 2, 3 and L & L due out in 2022.

And now I’m really finishing!!!

Susan

Endorsement for ‘Wherever you are, you are on the Journey’

Hello everyone!

Excitingly, someone in the world has their hands on a copy of The Book, Wherever you are, You are on the Journey.

It happens to be Dave Tomlinson in Somerset, England. Dave was kind enough to write an endorsement of the book (You’ll see it on the back cover when you get your copy). As soon as the publisher had uploaded the book to Amazon UK print-on-demand, I ordered one for Dave as a thank you. It arrived on his doorstep the other day. Dave talks about it here, at the beginning of his Week 89 edition of Holy Shed which he posted 6.30pm Sunday 28 November 2021, UK time (about 5.30am NZ time).

The Holy Shed is something you might find good to try. Dave started it at the beginning of the pandemic (about 89 weeks ago). It is a mix of him talking, video clips, insightful original prayers, candle lighting and a toast to life at the end.

Dave’s congregation in the ‘smallest parish in the world (“we’re not big but we’re small”, says Dave) are people like those for whom I have written Wherever you are. People keen to continue journeying spiritually but not finding in organized religion exactly what they want and need.

So, if you are overseas, try amazon for a paperback or a kindle version of Wherever you are to save the horrendous shipping costs to little old NZ at the top of the world. We NZers know they are horrendous because we have to pay them in reverse when we order from the US or UK!

Dave’s Holy Shed at the bottom of his garden

if you want to follow Dave’s Holy Shed posts, go to youtube and type in ‘Dave Tomlinson, Holy Shed’. One of his videos should come up. Then click on the word ‘subscribe’ which is usually white printing in a red box. This does not cost you anything. Holy Shed also has a facebook page which you mioght like to follow. https://www.facebook.com/theholyshed/

Finding the Holy Shed on youtube: The next time you open up youtube, click on the word ‘subscriptions’ at the bottom of the page and in the new page which comes up you will find a small round photo of Dave. Click on this and you will find you have a whole string of Dave’s Holy Shed posts from Week 5 available to scroll through and watch any time! The magic of technology.

Dave is also a writer. His books are available on the ko-fi site. Here’s the link https://ko-fi.com/holyshed/shop I particularly recommend his latest Black Sheep and Prodigals. Dave didn’t ask me to do a return promo but when you get your Wherever you are you will find that his work is being really what we (Roger and I) need at the moment. Holy Shed is, in fact, our weekly ‘church’, so to talk about it is as natural as breathing.

I was so excited about this ad from Dave that I had to share it with you! See you Wednesday.

Susan

jones.rs@xtra.co.nz

‘Breadcrumbs of Hope’

Hello again.

It’s been an exciting week getting launch preparations under way. Progress reports from the publisher indicate everything’s on track for books to be here for the event. Replies coming in suggest a high level of interest. Welcome to you whoever you are. The blog’s had visitors from Pakistan, Italy, Britain and the USA, as well as New Zealand.

Mike Riddell, script writer and author, living in Oturehua, Central Otago, NZ., wrote after reading Wherever you are, You are on the Journey

“Susan Jones offers an oasis for those parched by long treks through dry lands. In conversational form she gently removes boundaries, encouraging people who may have found the whole issue of religion too difficult to navigate. What better setting than a coffee shop for renewing the search for faith in times when the quest for meaning seems to have become not only unfashionable but reactionary. Offering breadcrumbs of hope along the way, Jones informs, encourages, imagines, and enchants. She has faced the difficulties of authenticity herself and discovered a way to live redemptively in a complex world. A book of possibilities, and a conversation of genuine encounter. Buy one for yourself, and one to give away.”

I like the phrase Mike has used here, ‘breadcrumbs of hope’. It brings to mind Hansel and Gretel, taken repeatedly into the deep, dark forest by their stepfather and left there. To all intents and purposes, as far as he was concerned, each time they were irretrievably ‘lost’. But their carefully laid trail of stones repeatedly gave them hope of homecoming. For more than one trip into the forest, to them, it seemed the best thing was to get back home where shelter and the familiar was waiting, no matter how bad it was in other ways.

But, you will remember, one day they didn’t get the time to gather the stones. They substituted crumbs from their lunch. As a child, I thought it was a disaster that the birds ate the crumbs, so they indeed did lose their way and encountered the witch in her gingerbread house. Hansel and Gretel almost became that night’s dinner, but together they pooled their skills and defeated the witch – the Terrible Mother – who otherwise could have been their end.

It was through lostness and crisis that Hansel and Gretel matured and developed. It wasn’t the reliable, nonedible white pebbles which saved them, it was the fragile breadcrumbs. As one writer points out, the phrase ‘breadcrumbs of hope” has subsequently entered the vernacular. No-one talks about the ‘white pebbles of hope’, even though they were the trail markers which repeatedly led the two children safely back to familiar home. That suggests the way back home isn’t always the best way for us.

When we begin to even suspect we might be needing to move on on our spiritual journey, it can seem like we are being booted out of home. The warm and the familiar (even though it may be increasingly painful) has a strong pull. It seems crazy to trust ourselves to the forest for the adventures we will find there. It seems too scary, too risky. Wherever you are you are on the journey is a true statement, but if we stay ‘home’ to complete our journey, we can be marking time, marching in place, not making progress.

This Book One of the trilogy is like the two children’s breadcrumbs scattered along the path. Paradoxically, they are breadcrumbs of hope because they deliver the children into that crisis in the gingerbread house. It is through that uncomfortable time, that they learn more than they can remaining at home. It is through the struggle that they grow up. It is through finding and using their skills that they come to know themselves and their limitless possibilities better.

I love the comment the publisher has put in the book’s blurb:. He asks the question “Maybe you are questioning whether the firmly held beliefs you grew up with are going to be useful in the next stage of your life? Then Philip goes on to say….

This book is aimed at unsettling you but also reassuring you. It aims to reassure you that others are also walking tentatively along dark forest pathways, unsure of what comes next. Trust the journey. If you do not know anyone else doing this crazy thing, get the book and meet Hope! This book also lists many authors who are doing the same exploring I am. There is a whole community of travelers out there waiting for you to join them. There are many breadcrumbs of hope scattered along the way which leads from home to Home.

Susan

Wherever you are, You are on the Journey can be ordered until 16 December 2021 at the pre-launch price of $18 plus P & P which is $5.60 for up to 5 books. If you email me on jones.rs@xtra.co.nz, I can let you know the bank account number to pay into. Please let me know if you want it signed. Pre-orders will be dispatched a few days before the launch on 16 December.

For those of you who live an expensive shipping distance from new Zealand, progress is being made on e books on various platforms. A ‘real’ book helps the author most, but e books are great too. Those connections will be released soon which all the infrastructure is in place.

Go well!

A book is born!

Hello followers and welcome to newcomers

It’s been a while, first a burst in 2013 then another at the beginning of lockdown in 2020. Then lockdown lethargy set in ….

Now I have another reason for reviving the blog. A trilogy of books is in the publishing pipeline. The first print book will be launched in Fairfield Community Hall, Dunedin, NZ on Thursday 16th December 2021. All three books will shortly be available in print and e versions.

Book Launch 16 December 2021

Why write a book (or 3?) When I finished active ministry at St Andrew’s on The Terrace at the end of 2019, I felt my work was unfinished. I hadn’t completely pulled together, I thought, my ideas on how the way we needed to change how we approached the Christian spiritual journey. Once I got started on that book, I thought the same about laying out the pros and cons for the debate over sexual orientation in the Presbyterian Church of Aotearoa New Zealand. (PCANZ). So a second book got started….

The cover for the second book in the trilogy, due out 2022

Then I realised my conversation partners in the first two books were Hope and Charity, so I had to have a conversation with Faith! Faith and I discuss the Feminine, the place of women and women in biblical texts for the contemporary scene.

Book 3 of the trilogy, also due out 2022

Before the trilogy took shape I’d been collecting hymns I’d written to familiar hymn tunes and some liturgy I’d been writing as a minister. Also, one hymn is to a very pretty original melody composed by Vivien Chiu who was musical director at St Andrew’s when I was there. These hymns and liturgy aim to be up to the minute. One even mentions twitter! This collection will also come out in 2022. This is what that book will look like.

So life has been unexpectedly full and active. It’s a welcome luxury having time to lay out ideas and explain things in detail without the limits of a 3 minute General Assembly speaking block or the 15-20 minutes a congregation can stand!

I am aiming for this blog to keep you up to date with publication dates and ways to order books. I will also use it however, to talk about the ideas behind the books – and all the other ideas I have not yet written down. So hit subscribe to get the news automatically. A facebook page focused on the books will appear soon but I need the help of a younger generation for that.

In the meantime, if you want to attend the launch and are in the vicinity and I haven’t sent you an invitation, please get in touch so we can add you to the numbers for catering. Anyone can order a “Wherever you are, You are on the Journey” book from me at jones.rs@xtra.co.nz for the launch price $18 plus p & p (in NZ) of $5.50 up until 16 December. E-books and print-on-demand through Amazon will be active soon. I can let you know when they’re available. (Cheaper for overseas people rather than shipping from NZ here at the top of the world.)

It is good to be in touch again. I hope you all are well and finding whatever restrictions you might be under for covid purposes not too irksome. remember, wherever you are, you are on the journey.

Susan